I have been pondering what has changed since I was a youth, realizing it's all the same, just painted with a different brush. In talking with my wife, we had pointedly different views on these subjects, each agreeing fully on totally opposite things. But still finding that the middle ground similaries existed, but at different values in our psyche.
Let me explain.
kids trust parents without reason, knowing they can be trusted, as mentors. until parents break that bond..
parents trust kids knowing they are kind souls and teach them, expose them to their reality, but show them what the parent wants to teach, trusting the kids will understand..
kids talk about it
parents talk about it
What is wrong with trust anymore? We seem to think that there is a fragile bond, but this is for life man, this is real. It's not some fictional fantasy or some archetypal reality, we have one set of parents, and one set of kids, and that it folks. Make it real.
I grew up in a fairly Christian Right household, knocking on doors at age 10. But I never talked sex with my parents, never got the learnings on what to do or what it really was.. so I had to experiment with my (girl) friends... in grade 1. Point being, they didn't talk about it later either, I was left alone to try and figure the whole "sex" mess out by myself. Great, I can do that. Didn't do wonders for my internal self though. I was left wanting a "helping hand" to "giude me through the wilderness". Hmm, sounds almost prophetic, good thing I have two working hands, I had to teach myself.
I never talked shop with my dad, he never asked me if I knew how to protect myself and respond when I am talking to people about doing drugs, using guns, gangs, robbery, smuggling. This is one of the last things my Dad wanted to discuss with me. But you know what, somehow I avoided all that. Not to say I wasn't near it, but I didn't know what was going on.. I just was there. Lucky me.
Now that I have kids, and have to teach them about how to protect themselves, I often wonder where my parents were, or if we just live in such a different world that it can't even be equated. I mean, nowadays PC is not only a term, but it's a way of life and if you are not PC you are screwed. Used to be something else that branded you a nigga. But today, you can be on a bus and get fucked becuase you're Black, or Punjabi, or just plain 'ol Different. You can be sitting in your house and get killed just becuase you are the target.
So where does all that good stuff my parents taught me fit in?